I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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