Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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