I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
