My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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