So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The air was thick with penises
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
