Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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