I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
