i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize