we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
birth control should be required to get into college
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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