I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
