he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
