It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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