Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
