I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
