Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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