It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
