She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
