I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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