whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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