I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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