This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
