i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
