he wants to bone in the snuggie
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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