I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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