and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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