I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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