your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
