FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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