They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
