the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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