I want to have your abortion
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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