I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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