i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
