Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
