Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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