On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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