You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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