K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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