i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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