why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
