so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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