My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
