you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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