I don't think brook has ever known best
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
