I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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