Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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