I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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