If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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