Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize