he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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