It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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