i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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