What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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